The title says it all.

But this image from Nike says it BEST:

We encourage you to Love Your Body by sharing this with all of your friends.

If you are interested in guest posting at AerobicMom.com, please contact us today.

Yep, this is another guest post from Nate Moller – Becky’s husband. Nate does online marketing consulting for small to medium sized businesses who need help with search engine optimization, social media and custom website design.

I work online all day every day.

And from time to time I come upon things that literally blow my mind.

Becky and I often talk about exercise, balanced diet, and how she can best help her aerobic friends realize that “they are good enough, they are smart enough, and doggone it – people like you.” (thanks SNL)

The following video says it best:

Now, the next time you feel you’re not good enough, you’re too big here or there, or you wish this was different about your body, come back and WATCH THIS VIDEO a few more times and realize you’re lucky to be who you are and have what you have.

Yes, this is a guest post by Nate Moller, Becky’s husband. Nate has been doing online marketing consulting and website design for over seven years. He is passionate about helping businesses succeed. He’s also very supportive of his wife pursuing her talents.

Part of my profession deals with using Facebook for business so I’m online (and on Facebook) almost all day every in one way or another.

I recently found a story that has gone “viral” that reminded me of aerobics, working out, and especially the Utah culture for women (and quite possibly the countries culture based on unrealistic portrayals in the media). Since the story hits the nail on the head, I’m going to quote it verbatim and look forward to comments below:

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

“Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I’d rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn’t enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: “How amazing am I ?! ”

(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn) Feel free to tag yourselves
Last comment: I’m not putting down thin people, being a thin woman myself (BMI of 22 maybe?) just saying that being large doesn’t equate to being unattractive.

By: Delphine Fieberg

What are your thoughts on the topic?

So, the new Aerobicmom.com is all about offering perspective, support, and practical guidance.  Every post I make will be geared toward the goal of helping women who struggle with food anxiety and body image.

I guess I should come right out and tell you, I’m going to be using the “A” word a lot.

No, I don’t mean that three-letter word that I generally reserve for my husband when I’m really upset (sorry sweetie).  I mean the word “addiction.”

Aaaah!  Even more scary—“addiction” is a word that conjures up all sorts of images.  From cheesy depictions of AA meetings on old sitcoms to pale & emaciated grungies with needles stuck in their arms, to pink & bloated 30-something males that show up on the child predator list.

Addiction is usually thought of as “somebody else’s problem.”  But here’s a list of questions to help you see if it could be yours:

• Are you constantly thinking about food, weight, or body image?

• Is it difficult to concentrate on the daily tasks of studying or work because of food and weight thoughts?

• Do you worry about what your last meal is doing to your body?

• Do you experience guilt or shame around eating?

• Is it difficult for you to eat in public?

• Do you count calories every time you eat or drink?

• Do you chronically diet only to regain the weight after going “off” the diet?

• Do you feel “out of control” when it comes to food?

• When others tell you that you are too thin, do you still feel fat?

• If you see yourself as thin, do you still obsess about your stomach, hips, thighs, or buttocks being too big?

• Do you weigh yourself several times daily?

• Does the number on your scale determine your mood and outlook for the day?

• When you are momentarily satisfied with your weight, do you resolve to be even more vigilant?

• Do you punish yourself with more exercise or restrictions if you don’t like the number on the scale?

• Do you exercise more than forty-five minutes, five times each week with the goal of burning calories?

• Will you exercise to lose weight even if you are ill or injured?

• Do you label foods as “good” and “bad?”

• If you eat a “bad” or forbidden food do you berate yourself and compensate by skipping your next meal, purging, or adding extra exercise?

• Do you vomit after eating and/or use laxatives or diuretics to keep your weight down?

• Do you severely limit your food intake?

From Bulimia.com  (http://www.bulimia.com/client/client_pages/abouteating_doi.cfm):  reprinted from Anorexia Nervosa:  A Guide to Recovery By Lindsey Hall & Monika Ostroff

Whether those around you think you look emaciated, think you look fabulous, or think you should be trying to lose a few pounds, if you answered YES to a good portion of the questions above, I might be talking to YOU.

The first step in embracing a fuller, more peaceful, and joyful life is to admit that you, in actuality are dealing with an addiction, and that you can’t overcome it on your own.  At Aerobicmom.com, we’ll be talking about practical and spiritual strategies that will help you to regain control of your own life by learning to trust your own body and ultimately, by reaching out to a higher power.  If you have been floundering in the dark, flailing in the water for anything that slightly resembles a life raft, reach out and pay attention.

You can get your life back.  I know because I did.

Am I talking to you?

If you were at one time a regular reader of my blog, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve been missing in action.  For quite awhile.  Sometimes we need a good break to get our ducks in a row.   I started this venture about a year ago as a novice blogger, and I wrote simply whatever I felt like.  Sure, the topic of my blog generally interested me, but some weeks I definitely just went for the easiest post possible.  In short, I lost focus of what I really wanted to do as Aerobicmom.

Hence the hiatus.

So I’m back with more focus, more plan, and more passion.  And while I may be narrowing my audience a bit, I’ve identified the audience that I really want to speak to.  So, sorry if you’ve enjoyed the fluffy and mediocre nutrition posts, the quasi-girl- power posts that could easily have come from SELF, Fitpregnancy, or any other of the scores of Women’s Health & Wellness magazines out there.  I’ve asked myself what I really want to do, and it’s to help YOU.

• YOU are women who have struggled for maybe weeks, maybe months, maybe years with BODY IMAGE DISTORTION, ANXIETY ABOUT FOOD, BODY HATRED, EXCESSIVE EXERCISE, or CHRONIC DIETING.
• YOU are women who are so confused about all the mixed messages you hear and read on the newspaper stands that you are ALWAYS SEARCHING FOR SOME MAGIC PROGRAM THAT WILL FIX YOU.
• YOU are women who have gotten so LOST IN THIS PATTERN OF RESTRICTIVE EATING, EXCESSIVE EXERCISE, and BODY HATRED that you FEEL YOU CAN’T COPE WITH DAILY LIVING.
• YOU have LOST YOUR POWER TO LIVE BY YOUR SELF-PROCLAIMED PRIORITIES BECAUSE YOU CAN’T LET GO OF A VERY TIME-CONSUMING REGIMEN OF FITNESS AND NUTRITION.
• YOU are women who HATE WHAT THEY SEE IN THE MIRROR.
• YOU are women who DON’T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE.
• YOU are women who DON’T WANT TO PASS THIS EPIDEMIC DOWN TO YOUR CHILDREN.
• YOU are women who deep down BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS, EVEN IF RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO BREAK OUT OF DESTRUCTIVE THINKING & ACTIONS.

YOU are the women I want to reach out to.  Because I know you’re out there.  And I was one of you.

Hey all you Aerobic-moms!

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, and this was just the thing to inspire me to get back to my keyboard.

This video clip was sent to me from my sister and it came at the perfect time. Maybe you feel overwhelmed by the constant wear of caring for little ones who need you so intensely or the daily grind of washing, wiping, and scrubbing that seems to go unnoticed. Maybe you struggle with the underlying anxiety of being unhappy with your body or physical appearance. Maybe we all sometimes forget that motherhood truly is a privilege, and it doesn’t have anything to do with how clean our house is, how beautiful our body is, or how much recognition we get. May we all recognize the gifts that are so abundantly ours.

So, recently, I was reading a good friend’s blog.  This friend is a writer, even though she doesn’t know it.  She’s got great voice, a great sense of humor, and strong opinions.  So her latest blog post was a rant on women, particularly Utah women, and I asked her if I could quote her on my blog.  So, here is some of what she had to say:

“One of the biggest perfection problems I have noticed, especially recently, is people’s need for the perfect body. I don’t know if this is news to most people or not, and it may come be too much for some, so maybe you should sit down before you read this, “There is no such thing as a perfect body.” Shocker right?! Honestly, I have met so many people since I’ve lived here, who have this unrealistic idea of achieving a perfect body, and it doesn’t exist. In fact, find me someone who claims to have a perfect body, and I will show you a flaw. That’s life. And it ruins lives when people think that such an achievement is possible. There is a fine line between people wanting a perfectly healthy body, and people wanting their healthy body to be perfect, and it’s the latter who end up more stressed, more upset, more anxious, and more unhappy, because they are trying to achieve the impossible.
Here’s why: you could always be skinnier, you could always be more tan, you could always have whiter or straighter teeth, you could always have better definition, a better hairstyle, a different face (thank you plastic surgery), bigger/smaller breasts, you can even have a sculpted hind-end, which I am saving my money for. Kidding . You could always be something better, but you will kill yourselves trying to get there. I know what it’s like to have that mindset, momentarily. It’s stressful, and ruthless, and completely consuming.
Don’t get me wrong— I love the idea of being healthy– I want to be healthy for my family, kids, future grandkids- for my husband, but mostly for myself, because it feels good, and because I feel good. That doesn’t mean I’m spending my days working myself out to death, or jumping on the scale and depressing myself over what weight I think I should be. I don’t spend every meal calculating the calories I’m eating and worrying if I’ve exercised enough to be able to eat something I want, and I don’t beat myself over the head for not having time to work out every now and again, because to me, that’s crazy. Here’s what I think— I want to be healthy enough to be able to walk to Missouri if needed in the later days, but not large enough that I’m the first people want to kill on that trip because of the meals I could provide. Moderation.”

So here’s my take on Stephanie’s rant:  I think she’s got great perspective here.  I think she is right on about the WHY of having a healthy body.  You can’t have a healthy spirit until you are living healthy for YOU because it makes YOU feel good.  Not to fit into a certain size, not to look better than your neighbor, not to impress your husband or your old friends from high school.  It has to be because it makes YOU happy.  And it will!

I do understand what Stephanie is saying about Utah culture (this problem certainly didn’t exist in the Wisconsin community I grew up in), but I don’t think it’s entirely a Utah thing.  I think we have a pretty homogenous population here.  Many of us share the same values, the same standards, the same beliefs, the same lifestyle;  we’re bound to look similar as well.  To me, it’s not that we look similar, it’s about WHY we look similar.  If I look like my neighbor because I am trying to compete with them or out-do them, then that’s a sad statement (especially for a grown adult who should have so much more to live for).  If I look like my neighbor because I just happen to look like my neighbor then, who cares?  It would be just as pathetic for me to NOT look like my neighbor just to make a point to be different.  It shouldn’t be about trying to be the same or trying to be different.  At some point, we should just be who we are because that’s who we are, and it should have nothing to do with what anyone else is doing or thinking.  And people that tend to have a problem with perfection are often worrying more about appearing perfect to everyone else, and that’s where the problem really stems from.  Worrying about impressing people.  That’s where the stress comes from.  So that’s my rant in return.

So, what do you think about what she has to say?

Do you see this as a problem for women everywhere, or is Utah alone in breeding perfection-obsessed women?

Do you find her opinions offensive, or do you think she’s right on?

For Stephanie’s full rant on Utah women and perfection, check out her blog.  Be prepared to laugh, to cry, and to possibly feel a little miffed.  All great writers push the envelope a little. 

So, here’s the good news.  You know how I constantly preach not to worry about those extra 2 pounds that you can’t seem to lose and that ruin your mood anytime you foolishly decide to step on the bathroom scale?

Disclaimer:  I am about to reveal my hypocrisy.

So here’s the deal.  After a Christmas vacation in Wisconsin with my family, replete with dinners out, chocolate mousse truffle, Christmas cookies up the wazoo, and Mama Mia’s garlic bread to boot (picture a french baguette soaked in so much butter that wrapping it in 12 paper sacks still soaks through onto your leather car seat), I was expecting the best-case scenario to be weight maintenance over the holidays.  And I’m fine with that.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t stuff myself silly all week, nor did I quit working out.  But, I certainly did not worry about what I ate.  I ate what I felt like when I felt like it.  I stopped eating when it I was full.  No stress, no guilt.

I worked out 5 times over Christmas break listening to some great running music, not because I felt stressed that I had to, but because it was precious bonding time with my sister, who lives in Italy most of the year, and because we both enjoy it!

So, after my no-stress, no-guilt approach to the Christmas holidays, you’d think the last thing I would do is step on a scale.  I am one of those who rarely weighs myself–that number is so defining!  But for some crazy reason, curiosity won out, and on I stepped.

To my utter amazement, as the digital numbers flickered in the fluorescent glow of my bathroom, a number appeared that has eluded me since the birth of my darling Chloe.  I had broken the 2 pound barrier!  I muttered to myself in disbelief, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” stepped off the scale and promptly returned for round 2.  Surely, there must be some sort of mechanical error going on.

But sure enough, the scale showed me the glorious victory sign again.  YES!

So why do I share this story?  To have someone to celebrate with?  To reason as to why such a stupid little meaningless detail in my life would put me in such a fabulous mood for days on end?

Actually, I share to encourage YOU to stop worrying, planning, and generally feeling anxious about what you put into your mouth.  I truly think there is something inside our bodies that won’t let go of that weight the more we worry about it.  Relax!  Be active!  Choose good foods that make you feel truly good.  Live your life!  Enjoy your friends, your family, your relationships, and life’s celebrations with all their culinary greatness.  The less you stress, the more your body will find its best place, and so will you.

Hello all!

Well, it was a wild and crazy holiday with lots of driving, lots of waiting in airports, and, of course, lots of food!  Luckily, there was also plenty of exercise.  How did you do on your challenge?  I am happy to report that I worked out 3 times the week of Christmas even with a nasty cold that had me coughing my lungs up, (willpower, baby!) and I got in 5 cardio sessions the week after while visiting family.  Keeping my exercise schedule consistent helped me to de-stress from the hectic schedule and general craziness of having 4 married siblings, 7 young cousins, 2 grandparents and 1 great-grandma under the same roof.

So now the holidays are behind us and we have this gigantic blank slate looming ahead of us:  A New Year.  A New Decade even.  The possibilities are endless-can you feel it?

I love moments like this.  These are the moments to dream.  To decide.  To plan.  To make goals.

However, you want to make sure you are making goals that you will actually implement in your life.  I am actually a pretty effective goal-maker and goal-achiever, (if I do say so myself).  Some call it stubborn or OC, I prefer the terms “determined” and “focused”.Here are the top 3 reasons why when I make a resolution, it WILL happen!

1.  Less is more!

So when my husband and I sit down and discuss our goals for the new year, he always sounds much more ambitious than I do.  We decide to read together, and he’s ready to plow through a book a week.  I tend to strive for a book a month.  Why?  Am I lazy?  Do I lack motivation and drive?  No!  But this is my mindset:  if I am going to make a goal, I am going to achieve it.  Period.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it.  If I write it down, it’s done.  So…there is no way that I’m going to write down a goal that I’m not sure that I can achieve. My goal has to be small enough that I can stick to it, and specific enough that I will know for certain when I’ve achieved it.

The secret is this:  if you achieve specific, smaller goals, it will give you a feeling of success and motivate you to continue forward.  Many times, I end up achieving more than I even planned.  If you set overly ambitious or nebulous goals and fall short, it will leave you feeling like a failure and kill any motivation you have to stay the course.  When you are deciding on goals, make them manageable.

2.  Write it down, Stick it up

So the second way to keep your goals is to write them down.  I don’t care where you do it, but it needs to be pen on paper, documented and undeniable.  There is something about writing down a goal that cements it in your brain, your heart, your conscious.  You can’t deny, argue, or justify yourself anymore.  It’s right there, staring you in the face.

Once you’ve written down your goals, you’ve got to put them in a place that you will see them over and over again.  I personally would shrink into the fetal position and rock myself to sleep in a straight jacket every night without my planner.  Not only does my planner keep me focused and organized, but so does a frequent “council” with my husband.  Every Sunday evening we sit down together after our kids are in bed and discuss:  the successes/failures of the past week, the schedule of the upcoming week, and update each other on how we’re progressing towards goals we have set individually and as a couple.  This meeting, more than anything else we do, keeps us both progressing.  Stick your goals up, and check up on yourself on a regular basis.

3.  Just another day in paradise

The third key to my success in goal-setting and achieving is to make your goals a part of what you’re already doing in life.  So many times we decide, “Okay!  This is it–no more!  I’m changing my life!  I vow to never eat fast food again!”  Never mind that our current lifestyle consists of a daily pitstop to the local burger joint.  It is extremely difficult to completely change your life on a dime, no matter what aspect you may be working on.

I am most successful with goals that I work into the routines of my daily life.  My husband and I have made it a goal to read scriptures with our family every day.  We have been successful at doing this because we made it part of our daily bedtime routine. My husband and I have made a goal to go on a weekly date this year.  This will fit in perfectly after a Friday evening Zumba class that I’ll be teaching.  By making our goals part of our schedule, they happen without us having to even really think about them!  When you are making your goals, think about your daily schedule and routines.  Where can you fit in some of the things that you want to do to improve yourself this year?

So, that’s it–dream away!  I have seen dreams become reality.

What tips do you have to help us all stick to our goals in 2010?

Okay, this week’s blog posts are actually an assignment from my blogging expert husband, (and actually came from Problogger, Darren Rowse).

And the assignment is this: an elevator pitch.  Basically, an elevator pitch is a concise, but thorough “mission statement” that explains what your blog is all about.  The idea is that if you were in an elevator and somebody asked you about your blog, you could explain it to them in the amount of time you had before either of you reached your floor.  This is something I’ve actually wanted to do for some time, because as I’ve stated before, I believe that the WHY behind we do changes everything.

So, here goes.  In case any of you have been wondering who I am talking to, what I am talking about, and why I am talking in the first place, it all comes back to my tag line.

Aerobicmom.com

Real Moms.  Real bodies.  Real perspective.

Today, we’ll talk about:

Real perspective

For me, the defining moment of my life was my struggle with anorexia.  It caused me to deeply reflect on what health and wellness means, and forced me to acknowledge the role of balance in my life.  I have lived my life in two extremes:

Wisconsin–extremely laid back!

Utah–extremely high strung!

Both of these cultures have good aspects.  I love the relaxed feeling I get when I visit home in Wisconsin.  I take a step off the airplane and feel like I can finally breathe!  People are so friendly, genuine, and easy-going.  I never worry about what others might think.  It is wonderful.

In Utah, I love being surrounded by so many truly amazing people.  It humbles me and pushes me to be more and to be better.  I love that it’s just a part of the norm to see people out jogging and living a healthy lifestyle.  People are quick to serve others, strong in their convictions, and driven to achieve.  It is wonderful.

However, both of these cultures have their health & wellness drawbacks.  In Wisconsin, the drawback is health.  Obesity is the norm.  I grew up eating whatever I wanted, and fully expecting to be fat, because I thought, “Aren’t all adults fat?”  It was just something that happened to you.  I was at the high end of the normal weight range for my height when I decided to take control but went too far and spiraled down into anorexia at the age of 18.  I have since seen my dad, my hero, the guy I respect more than anyone else in the world, balloon to over 400 pounds.  I have seen how this has affected his day to day life, his energy, his spirit.  It is breaking my heart.

In Utah, the drawback is wellness.  There is a pressure to push yourself to the limit in so many aspects, and this includes fitness and appearance.  With my past struggles, I am all too aware of the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical ramifications of pushing too hard.  The fact that Utah has been found to lead anti-depressant use in the nation by almost double is a testimony to the fact that there are hearts breaking here, too.

In the end, both cultures need to find a healthy and livable balance, and so do each of us.  My perspective may at times seem to be at odds, but it’s because you can see I’m coming from 2 different vantage points.

In one vein, I don’t want people to be what I almost was, someone that doesn’t even think twice about what they’re eating, thinks the idea of exercising regularly is ridiculous, and expects to die young from obesity-related illness.

On the other hand, I don’t want people to do what I did, living day to day with so much anxiety over their weight and appearance that it gets in the way of living a normal life.

I’m hoping I can reach at least one of you on either end and bring you closer to the middle, where we can all live the fullest and happiest life we are capable of.

So that’ s my story and I’m sticking to it.  In the end, if I never make a dime from this blog, I will still love it and will still write, because I want you to know that I’ve been there.  And if I can help even one person who has struggled the way I have to know that they are not alone, that they are enough, and that there is hope for a better, happier life ahead, then it’s well worth my time.

So that’s me,

Aerobicmom

Real moms.  Real bodies.  Real perspective.

And I’m here for you.  Please share your perspective and insight on all my posts.  You never know who may need to hear it.